Hi Everyone! Welcome to your monthly Mental Wellness message from the Youth Action Committee on Mental Health!
This month we thought we’d talk about how to handle it when a friend comes to us for help with their mental health. The reality is our friends often turn to us when they need support and understanding, especially when it comes to their mental health. Sometimes they want to confide in us before they talk to an adult, and sometimes they may want to talk to friends instead of talking to an adult. This means it is important for us to know how to be there for friends when they reach out for help. It is also important to make sure we figure out a way to balance helping others without getting too overwhelmed ourselves.
So let’s say (theoretically) a friend comes to us with a problem, or maybe they’re just not acting like themselves and we want to help. One of the most powerful ways we can support our friends is just by checking in with them and by being a good listener. Let them express their feelings without feeling judged - this shows that we care and that they are not alone. Sometimes a friend might not want to talk but might feel better just by spending time together, whether it's going to the gym, or simply chatting about the latest movie or book. Just being with others can sometimes be comforting and can be a good reminder of the positives around them.
Of course, sometimes the situation might be more serious, and can’t be resolved with a bit of entertainment or relaxation. In that case, it’s important that we tell our friend that while we're there for them, we can't fix everything and that it is super-important to involve adults when needed! We don’t have the training or experience to be their therapist and that is okay; we can focus on the really important job of being a good friend because setting boundaries is important for them and for us!
Telling a friend we think they need more support can be hard. We can say something like, “I’m worried about you and I care too much not to tell someone,” or “I really want you to get the help you need. I don’t have the answers but I will support you in getting to someone who does.” Encourage them to speak with a trusted adult, such as a parent, teacher, coach or guidance counselor. These adults can provide the right guidance and support.
The reality is that sometimes people don’t feel they have someone to reach out to at home or at school. In that case, let them know that there are other options available, such as school mental health professionals, crisis lines they can contact online or by phone, and community counselling services. Check out our YAC flyer for resources available. It’s also important to remember, if your friend doesn't feel comfortable with the first support they try, it's okay to keep trying different things until they find what (or who) works best for them. Remember that connecting them to help when needed is being a good friend!
So, if your friend is struggling, check in with them. Listen and offer them a space to talk or just be someone with whom they can have fun and find a little distraction. While we certainly can’t have all of the answers, it’s important for our friends to know that they are not alone to handle everything. And remember, make sure to take care of your mental health in all of this - after all, the best way to help others is to take good care of yourself.