SEL AT HOME: WHAT CAN I DO?
Social-emotional learning helps kids understand and manage their feelings, make friends, and solve problems in school and life. These skills teach children to recognize how they feel and how others feel, which helps them communicate better and work well with others. Learning about empathy, kindness, and self-control can make home and school a happier and safer place for everyone. Explore the resources on these pages for more information on how to support your child’s SEL skills at home.
CHILDREN WHO HAVE CHALLENGES WITH SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL LEARNING, OFTEN DEMONSTRATE
Children who demonstrate the following characteristics may have difficulty with social understanding:
- has trouble picking up on social patterns
- is unable to resolve social conflicts independently
- seems to lack empathy ("He doesn't seem to care!")
- has trouble seeing another person's point of view (perspective-taking)
- makes rude or inappropriate comments
- ignores authority figures
- doesn't recognize when people aren't interested in what they're saying or when/why people are upset with them
- doesn't understand why they get in trouble
- repeats the same behaviour despite negative consequences
- always tells the truth even when it's socially not wise to do so (they're too honest)
- has difficulty intuitively recognizing the rules of social scenarios, e.g., joining a group, responding to greetings, understanding jokes
YOU CAN HELP BY
- developing a positive relationship with your child's school and teachers
- work on matching facial expressions with emotions
- break down failed social interactions by talking about what happened and what they can do differently next time
- provide scripts of what to say and do in social situations (see social stories)
- use Social Thinking strategies to teach about perspective-taking (see www.socialthinking.com)
Children who demonstrate the following characteristics may have a lack of confidence:
- difficulty reading and writing
- impulsive
- work extra hard with low output or successful results (feel like they can't do anything right or that they're stupid)
- trouble connecting with peers
YOU CAN HELP BY:
- trying not to react emotionally
- praising good effort to help your child to learn to appreciate their own efforts
- helping your child identify their strengths
- helping your child recognize what they need to be successful learners
Children who demonstrate the following characteristics may have have difficulty inhibiting responses or controlling their impulses:
- blurt out rude comments or can't stop and think before speaking or doing something
- have difficulty sitting still or waiting in lines or taking turns
- have difficulty persevering when upset or when unexpected changes occur
- talk non-step
- interrupt, grab things, and take risks (dating and sex, driving, alcohol, drugs)
- have difficulty following rules
- get attention by doing silly things
- are aggressive towards other kids
YOU CAN HELP BY:
- setting clear expectations
- giving a heads-up if something might be boring or unpleasant, or if it could take a long time
- praising your child's efforts when they do what is expected rather than focusing on "inappropriate" behaviour
- breaking complicated tasks into more manageable chunks
- naming feelings and encouraging your child to use words to explain their emotions
Children who demonstrate the following characteristics may have have difficulty controlling their emotions or tolerating stress:
- overreact to small problems
- get overstimulated easily
- have trouble calming down
- have difficulty recovering from disappointments
- have difficulty managing the stress of a game
- have difficulty taking risks
YOU CAN HELP BY:
- modeling how you talk through your own behaviour during emotionally-charged situations
- reducing or eliminating triggers as much as possible
- teaching your child how to recognize early signs of stress
- setting up a quiet area for homework or studying
INCREASING YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF SELF-REGULATION
USING ROLE-PLAYING TO PRACTICE SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL SKILLS
Role playing allow children to practise skills by acting out situations without props or scripts. It provides a safe environment for considering different perspectives, developing empathy by seeing how their decision might affect others, an solving social problems.
MANAGING STRESS AND ANXIETY
Anxiety can be debilitating -- but can there be a positive side to stress? When we say, "I'm stressed!" it's often not a good thing. But stress doesn't always have to be bad. Good stress helps kids face challenges, solve problems, and build their confidence (www.understood.org).